"The Story of My Life" begins almost 40 years ago and, basically, it's all about me. So, here I am... this is me. Well, this is me NOW. This hasn't always been the way I've looked on the outside or the facial expressions I've carried throughout my life. I've had many outward and inward changes over the course of many years just like most of us have. But, while reading this, you'll see that the roller coasters in my lifetime have made me who I am today, inside and out, and have sent me into a whirlwind of emotional changes and physical changes time after time, over and over, throughout my life. So many people often ask me many questions about my life. I guess you could say it has been interesting to say the least. You can judge that for yourself. In this "book", "blog", whatever you wish to call it, people will finally get the answers to all those questions they've asked me for so many years. Finally, I've come to a point in my life to where I can stop, relax, and reflect. I can now look back and finally answer those questions that I've never been able to answer with honesty with not only everyone else, but with myself as well. Time certainly has a way of changing people, but God being first and foremost in my life has been the most eye-opening, most merciful, most glorious experience that has ever taken place in my life and has made a way for me to finally become the person I was meant to be. I can now see whom God created when He created this child named "(Angela) Paige Elizabeth Coker (Grappe) Collins".
I'm sure the first thing you're wondering about is the long name I just put at the end of the last sentence. Of course, that's a long story! But, to make a long story short for now, I'll break it down and help you to better understand where this story is going and why I'm writing this to begin with.
The first name: "Angela". This was the name I was given at birth by my biological mother who gave me up for adoption at birth. It wasn't until 2003 that I received this information after finding my birth mother and receiving my adoption records from the State of Georgia. This information from the State of Georgia provided me with my birth name: "Angela Paige"... no last name.
Second name: "Paige". This name was kept by the adoption agency which was my middle name at the time of my birth. My adopted parents also kept this name and added the next name in the above sentence.
Third name: "Elizabeth". My middle name at the time I was adopted. This, however, was not my middle name at the time of my birth. This name was given to me by the State of Georgia and was decided on by my adopted parents for legal purposes in 1976. In the State of Georgia, in the early 1970's, the State Laws allowed for childrens' names and birthdates to be changed in order to keep Court Rendered "unfit parents" from finding their children in an attempt to re-connect or possibly kidnap their birth children. Therefore, my name was changed from "Angela Paige" to "Paige Elizabeth".
Fourth name: "Coker". This was the last name of my Adopted Family. My parents that adopted me, at the time, were Harold & Dianne Coker. Therefore, my name was then changed to "Paige Elizabeth Coker".
Fifth name: "Grappe": In 2003, after receiving my birth records from the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry and speaking with my birth mother for the first time, I was given so much information at once about my 'father' that I still wasn't sure I knew who I was. After having a few long talks with my birth mother, I found out that my original birth certificate filed with the Sealed Records of the State of Ga. had my last name listed as 'Duraso'. However, this wasn't who my biological father was. This was the man she was married to at the time. She told me the story of her and my real father's love affair and how I came to be, then told me his name and my true identity..."Angela Paige Grappe", at the time I was born. My father's real identity had been kept from her husband at the time and my existence was kept from my real father for many years. However, through mutual friends, over time, he did hear about me and knew that I did exist somewhere in the world.
So. This is how I became...me! I haven't ever been really sure of who I was, where I came from, or why I never was quite like anyone else in my 'family'. After many, many years of searching and aching for the truth, I finally found it. This is who I am now, who I've always been, always will be and no one will ever understand me unless they've walked a mile in my shoes. I'm not like anyone else in my adopted families nor am I like anyone else in my biological families. I'm a combination of the two. It's a strange and twisted road I've been on but what a ride! This is my story and I'm happy to tell it to you.
My journey to finding my biological family was more than what I expected. That's why I'm writing this. I want to share my story in hopes that I may somehow help someone else who may be trying to make the decision of whether to find their biological families or not, help someone who doesn't know them and possibly never will, or help someone who may have found them and is heartbroken over the information they've received. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is ever mentally or emotionally ready for this journey they're about to embark on.
You may have adopted a child and be questioning whether or not you should tell your child that he/she is adopted... trust me, I have an opinion as well as others who, like me, were adopted that I have come into contact with over the years who share the same opinion as mine. It's not an easy choice for parents. I've seen both sides of this coin.
Also... I thank GOD that there are wonderful, loving, kind, and caring people in this world who are looking to adopt. I honestly believe that God chooses those whom He believes will love another person's child unconditionally, as their own, as much as they would their own, and knows that His love will shine through them, as parents, and those parents will give children a chance at life that they otherwise never would have had. God has a special place in Heaven for adopted parents. Thank you!
No, I do not know the pain of not being able to bear my own child. I have given birth to 3. However, I do have several friends who have suffered from this and who have now successfully adopted a child/or children and are extremely happy. However, they have also come to me before-hand and asked me my opinion and have even had me talk to their kids later on in life about being adopted and how it makes them feel. It's my way of giving back, I guess. I tell you that to say this... PLEASE, be absolutely, 100% positive that adoption is RIGHT FOR YOU. The children being adopted have already come from circumstances that aren't so great to begin with. They need stability. They need unconditional love and understanding, patience and kindness. They need you to be a parent long-term. Always. Not for a few months... Not for a few years... For a lifetime.
After you read my story, you'll understand why I say this. I'm not trying to tell anyone, by no means, how to live their life or what to do. I have no right. However, I am the product of adoption, a broken adopted-marriage, abuse (physical, sexual, mental, verbal, & emotional), and disowned simply because I wasn't like them (my adopted family). I didn't have their genetic makeup, their mental or physical genes, their way of thinking, their blood...I was destined to be different from the time I was born. Are you ready to raise a child that's going to be different than you? I hope so. Because this child isn't a product of yourself or your partner. They're a product of a whole different blood makeup and a whole different situation, lifestyle, and generation of people that you've never met.
If you're one of God's chosen ones, then you are certainly blessed and you'll have no problem being the loving mother/father to someone else's child. Just like a stepfather or stepmother...it takes someone special and someone strong-willed, strong-minded, and big-hearted to take on someone else's child and love them as their very own...to treat them no different than their own, and to love them no less and no more than their own. It's not easy but it can be done. I am a living example of that. I love my stepson like my own son. There's times that I honestly forget that he's not "mine" to make decisions about or when someone asks "Ahhh, is this your son?", my answer is naturally "Yes! Yes, he is!" That gets people really confused! :)
Here goes! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post them and I'll do my best to respond in a timely manner as I'm not on Blogger daily. However, I do intend to do better. All my love to all of those adoptees out there! God has someone for you soon! <3 Paige <3
So. This is how I became...me! I haven't ever been really sure of who I was, where I came from, or why I never was quite like anyone else in my 'family'. After many, many years of searching and aching for the truth, I finally found it. This is who I am now, who I've always been, always will be and no one will ever understand me unless they've walked a mile in my shoes. I'm not like anyone else in my adopted families nor am I like anyone else in my biological families. I'm a combination of the two. It's a strange and twisted road I've been on but what a ride! This is my story and I'm happy to tell it to you.
My journey to finding my biological family was more than what I expected. That's why I'm writing this. I want to share my story in hopes that I may somehow help someone else who may be trying to make the decision of whether to find their biological families or not, help someone who doesn't know them and possibly never will, or help someone who may have found them and is heartbroken over the information they've received. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is ever mentally or emotionally ready for this journey they're about to embark on.
You may have adopted a child and be questioning whether or not you should tell your child that he/she is adopted... trust me, I have an opinion as well as others who, like me, were adopted that I have come into contact with over the years who share the same opinion as mine. It's not an easy choice for parents. I've seen both sides of this coin.
Also... I thank GOD that there are wonderful, loving, kind, and caring people in this world who are looking to adopt. I honestly believe that God chooses those whom He believes will love another person's child unconditionally, as their own, as much as they would their own, and knows that His love will shine through them, as parents, and those parents will give children a chance at life that they otherwise never would have had. God has a special place in Heaven for adopted parents. Thank you!
No, I do not know the pain of not being able to bear my own child. I have given birth to 3. However, I do have several friends who have suffered from this and who have now successfully adopted a child/or children and are extremely happy. However, they have also come to me before-hand and asked me my opinion and have even had me talk to their kids later on in life about being adopted and how it makes them feel. It's my way of giving back, I guess. I tell you that to say this... PLEASE, be absolutely, 100% positive that adoption is RIGHT FOR YOU. The children being adopted have already come from circumstances that aren't so great to begin with. They need stability. They need unconditional love and understanding, patience and kindness. They need you to be a parent long-term. Always. Not for a few months... Not for a few years... For a lifetime.
After you read my story, you'll understand why I say this. I'm not trying to tell anyone, by no means, how to live their life or what to do. I have no right. However, I am the product of adoption, a broken adopted-marriage, abuse (physical, sexual, mental, verbal, & emotional), and disowned simply because I wasn't like them (my adopted family). I didn't have their genetic makeup, their mental or physical genes, their way of thinking, their blood...I was destined to be different from the time I was born. Are you ready to raise a child that's going to be different than you? I hope so. Because this child isn't a product of yourself or your partner. They're a product of a whole different blood makeup and a whole different situation, lifestyle, and generation of people that you've never met.
If you're one of God's chosen ones, then you are certainly blessed and you'll have no problem being the loving mother/father to someone else's child. Just like a stepfather or stepmother...it takes someone special and someone strong-willed, strong-minded, and big-hearted to take on someone else's child and love them as their very own...to treat them no different than their own, and to love them no less and no more than their own. It's not easy but it can be done. I am a living example of that. I love my stepson like my own son. There's times that I honestly forget that he's not "mine" to make decisions about or when someone asks "Ahhh, is this your son?", my answer is naturally "Yes! Yes, he is!" That gets people really confused! :)
Here goes! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post them and I'll do my best to respond in a timely manner as I'm not on Blogger daily. However, I do intend to do better. All my love to all of those adoptees out there! God has someone for you soon! <3 Paige <3
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